Death, Grief, Gratitude and Positivity

Al-and-Me-and-Mom

My daughter Emelina is a great role model for self-love. She tagged me on Facebook a while ago to participate in the 5 days of positivity challenge. The challenge is to write 3 things a day for 5 days that are positive.

My mother-in-law was actively in the process of dying since August 29th when she had her fatal stroke. This is the reason this is my first post for this month of September. Although I know it is possible to be positive in any situation, I was not ready to take myself out of the moment to reflect on it by writing. I’ve been trying to focus on my blessings and care for myself as best as I could each day, but the truth is, my grief is deep and strong and it comes and goes many times during the day and night. I have not been focusing on self-love with as much focus as I usually do.

I know it’s time to begin focusing on my gratitude by writing. I may not write for 5 consecutive days because after the final ritual of placing my mother-in-laws’ ashes in the cemetery today, I will take myself and my husband away for a few days. I will give myself permission to love myself by being with my husband in nature and by listening to my heart for guidance on how to care for myself.

Here are my first 3 positive thoughts about this challenging time.

#1 When my husband and I arrived to my mother-in-laws’ house in San Francisco, August 30th to care for her, it was clear we needed to get Hospice. Since it was a holiday weekend the only way we could get a prescription from Hospice was to bring her to the ER or take her to the hospital in an ambulance. We all knew this was not the loving thing to do for our mother in her condition. Here is where the positivity and gratitude come in: One of my sister-in-laws reminded us that we have a cousin whose husband is a doctor. This cousin is also a LCSW for Mission Hospice. Because of this connection, we were able to get Hospice care for my mother-in-law that very day. For this, I am so grateful.

#2 Gratitude fills my heart when I think of one of my nieces who is a nurse and who stayed in the room with mom 24 hours a day from the moment she arrived. She taught us how to use a stethoscope, how to read mom’s blood pressure and how to measure her oxygen intake. She taught us how to fill syringes with medicine and how to give her a shot so she could be comfortable and out of pain while dying.

#3 My awareness grows about our loving family. As I’ve shared bits and pieces of this journey, it has been shown to me that our family’s ability to care of mom in this way is not everyone’s experience. I am so grateful to have married into a family that was able to care for her in her last days with so much love.

I hope that your transitions in life can also be met by focusing on the positive and by lingering in the emotion of gratitude.

You can submit your writing to be published here on Self-Love Warrior by going here. You can also share your updates with us on the Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works Facebook Page.

Blessings to you on your journey of Self-Love,

Michelle Minero

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3 Responses to Death, Grief, Gratitude and Positivity

  1. Impower You says:

    It’s hard to be positive in grief. I think it’s slightly easier when the person dieing has a positive attitude, or as upbeat as possible when in such pain. It also helps as you pointed out in #3, being able to give your mother in law what she needed and have such family support versus some family situations. I was very thankful for that as well when my mom died.
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. Pingback: A Mid September Mish Mash and Blog Roundup of Interesting Stories | Individual Empowerment

  3. Alice Linn says:

    I’m so sorry for your and your family’s loss of your beloved mother-in-law, Michelle. As you grieve, you and your family will be in my thoughts. How fortunate she was to have the support of such a loving family.

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