What’s your truth? Do you know?
I remember a time when pleasing people and avoiding imagined conflict was so important to me that I would say whatever I thought people wanted to hear. Soon, I had lost myself, and wasn’t even clear about who I was, what I thought or believed!
If you currently avoid speaking your truth, I invite you to begin. It may take time to get clear on what your truth is. Here are some simple questions to get you started.
When someone asks you where you want to eat, or what movie you want to watch, instead of saying, “I don’t care, whatever you want is fine.” Take a moment, even if you don’t care, and check in with yourself.
Do you want something to eat that is spicy, cool and refreshing, warm and filling, or perhaps sweet and sour? Imagine eating Indian food, a big salad, Mexican food or Chinese food and then imagine how you would feel afterwards and which food seems to stand out more than others in your mind as pleasurable. Then say out loud what your preference is.
Using the movie example, stop for a moment, and check-in with yourself emotionally. Do you want to feel the emotions of an action-packed movie, a suspenseful movie or the adrenaline rush of a horror film? Would you prefer to laugh while watching a comedy, have a good cry with a sad drama or feel moved by an inspirational movie based on a true story?
These examples, even though not life-changing decisions, are invitations to go inward to check-in with yourself. What are your preferences? Can you give yourself permission to express them, even is someone else wants something different?
When you bring your attention to your emotions with honesty, it becomes a very powerful Self-Love Diet tool.
Begin asking yourself how you feel about certain situations, experiences and personal exchanges with people.
Here’s an example:
You made plans with a friend, and they cancelled last minute. You felt hurt because it had happened once before, and you didn’t address it with your friend.
Emotional honesty sounds like this:
[Your friend’s name], I feel hurt because I love you, and I enjoy spending time with you, and when you cancel plans with me it feels like I’m not important to you. I’d like to check-in and see if this is true. I know that plans change, and I’d like to setup an agreement that feels more respectful when we have to change plans that we’ve made with one another.
Emotional honesty isn’t always about conflict. You can also express emotional honesty to communicate something you appreciate or something that makes you feel good.
Here’s another example:
A friend tells you that you are really important to them, and you didn’t realize that was true. You feel surprised and appreciative.
Emotional honesty also sounds like this:
[Your friend’s name], what a pleasant surprise. I didn’t realize I was that important to you. I felt warmth in my heart when I heard you say that I was important to you because I feel the same way towards you, and I want to get together more often.
The month of August will be your invitation to notice what’s true for you and then share your truth with others. This Self-Love Diet tool helps you get to know yourself better, and it allows your relationships to grow and develop through your ability to share your authentic self with those important people in your life, starting with yourself!
Blessings on your Self-Love Diet,