So I had a great therapy session. I have never really talked in depth about my ed. I realized that the reasons I and my therapist think I have an ed is because of the shame I feel inside from the years of abuse. I never noticed that before. When I used to purge/restrict it was usually related to a flashback of abuse. It was very eye opening to learn my triggers.
I have also realized with the help of my dietitian and my doctor that I can healthily lose weight (someday) with the help of them. (But I will have to work on myself first.) I’m still not allowed to exercise.
I also have moved forward with getting my dorm for this fall. That is so exciting. I will be more centered in my studies. I just don’t want a new therapist though.
I had left over crab and brownies. And didn’t have any ed related thoughts.
I just realized that I haven’t purged or restricted for 20 whole days. My longest time ever. I have been committed to recovery for 25 days. I’m feeling good.