On this 11th day of January 2014 I offer you the tip of “Ask for support.”
Many of my clients have said, “I can take care of myself.” or “If I’m needy I’ll be too much for people.” These are mistaken beliefs. All human beings have needs. “Neediness” is a human trait, it is neutral. Do not put a negative spin on it. In fact having needs is a gift. We are social beings and we blossom and grow when we reach out and connect to others.
My daughter Renee Ho wrote a book titled The Friendship Effect. http://thefriendshipeffect.com In this book she describes research which links having friendships to increased physical and mental health. Asking for support from your friends is a loving action for yourself, but also for your friends. When you share your vulnerability with them, you invite them to share their vulnerability with you. When you support them without judgement, they offer the same to you.
Today I share eleven Self-Love Diet tips on this 11th day of our writing challenge. This partial list comes from women who have participated in my workshops.
I asked the question: What does Self-Love Do?
Here is a list of examples of Self-Love practices that women have been practicing for some time now. You can use this list as a way of “asking for support” for Self-Love ideas from these women.
#1 “If I’m tired I’ll rest or go to bed. I listen to my tiredness and figure out what it’s trying to tell me. It’s usually telling me to slow down my pace of life. I have a tendency to put a lot of activities into my days and nights.”
#2 “I’m buying bath salts and I’m going to take a bath and light candles.”
#3 “I decided to forgive myself for all the times I’ve done things to myself that were not loving.”
#4 “I’m eating three meals a day even if I don’t feel hungry because I know my body needs the nutrients.”
#5 “I’m paying more attention to myself when I get nervous. I try to stop and figure out what’s going on, and then I do what I can to change it. If there’s nothing I can do to change it, I put it in a pink ballon and let it float up into the sky.”
#6 “I commit to taking 3 deep breaths before I answer the phone.”
#7 “I’ve begun to stop mid day and meditate, stretch or go for a walk.”
#8 “I’m making time to get in nature a weekly priority.”
#9 “I pray when there are things I can’t fix.”
#10 “I discovered that I believed I was a burden if I asked for help. Now I’ll call a friend to just say “Hi” and appreciate them for their friendship. It makes it easier for me to call them when I want to ask for their support because I don’t feel like I only call when I have problems.”
#11 “I’ve added hugs into my repertoire of behaviors! I now ask for a hug or give a hug.”
I invite you to add to this list by sharing what Self-Love practices you are practicing.
Blessings on your 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge,
– Michelle Minero
31-Day Self-Love Writing Challenge
January is Self-Love month, and it marks the 4th year that we’ve hosted the 31-Day Self-Love Writing Challenge. You can participate by submitting your self-love writing to be published on this blog. You can submit your writing here. You can also participate by writing your self-love posts on your own blog and linking back to the 31-Day Self-Love Writing Challenge, 2014 blog post and Facebook event. If you don’t start on January 1st, that’s fine! You can jump into the challenge whenever you want.
Win a Copy of Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works
Each blog post you write is one entry into our random drawing to win an autographed copy of my book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works. You’ll also be entered into our drawing to win our upcoming Self-Love e-products that we’ll be announcing soon.
If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your self-love writing, you can write in a journal or write yourself self-love emails. If writing isn’t for you, simply reading others’ self-love writing can be powerful and beneficial to you on your self-love journey.
Michelle Minero is a licensed marriage family therapist who specializes in eating disorder recovery. Michelle’s book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works, was published on January 23, 2013. You can purchase a copy through Amazon. Her dream is to see a world filled with people who love themselves and their bodies.
Michelle created an intensive outpatient eating disorder program in 2000, brought ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, Inc.) to Petaluma shortly after and founded EDRS (Eating Disorder Recovery Support, Inc.), a Marin and Sonoma County based 501(c)3 non-profit organization in 2005. In 2011, Michelle co-founded theLove Warrior Community with her daughter, Emelina, an online community that helps people cultivate self-love, self-acceptance and body acceptance through creative expression. Connect with Michelle on Facebook and Twitter.