My Face

I’m not sure if I’m doing this right…and then I think that there’s no “way” of doing this “right”–I just have to be into it. So, I think that the best way for me to do this is to just be like Nike and “Do It.” Start from the  bottom (ha, Drake reference) and just go from there.

I love my face. In my mind, it’s so many things: it’s the most unique thing you own; it is literally the foundation of your identity. You have your face before your name. When people see you or imagine you, your face pops up in their brain. It’s a combination of your parent’s genetics and God’s brilliant work. You never really completely look like another person; even twins have some discernible differences.

It’s been a journey for me to think this way. There was definitely a time I didn’t exactly like my face–just years of being teased about my lips in elementary school because they were big and noticeable and a sign that my parents were Africans. I just remember kids teasing me and me crying about it (I was an emotional-ass kid). And then when I became a teenager, my face started getting rounder. My mom’s mindset was I wasn’t eating healthily enough and exercising and it just showed on my face. And it seemed like every two weeks, the shape of my face seemed to pop up with talks of weight. Not to mention other things: pimples, having to wear glasses, styes that made my eyes swell up…eyebrows.

I think me being 15 changed that. Fifteen was the age I found myself just really being tired of feeling a lot of negative things about–unpopular, weird, unconfident–and just decided that I was going to just begin thinking of myself differently. And if I had to force myself to think differently, then so be it.

I started with my lips. I learned to accept the fact that my lips were big. But I also began to realize that they were full and shapely. I loved the way they stretched into a smile, I liked watching myself lick them in the mirror; I liked puckering them up and stuff. I kissed my bathroom mirror a lot because my lips were awesome. And then came my eyes: almond-shaped, brown. Expressive. They crinkled when I smiled or when someone told me something crazy. They were milk-chocolate when you saw them in the light sometimes, just perfect. And then my cheekbones–sitting high, just unwilling to be hidden. Friends used to always poke at them and I let them because goddamnit, they realized my cheekbones were so amazing.

And then eventually, thinking that was easier; it wasn’t second nature, but first nature. Automatic. And I was vain about it, but why shouldn’t I have not been so? I realized that my face was amazing–my face was expressive. My emotions were out in the open to see and my face was perfect harmony.

It still is by the way, but now I don’t have to force myself to see it and I let it show to other people. And so I guess in writing this, I’m just encouraging whoever reads this to just own your face. See the pieces for what they are and then look at yourself and put all those pieces together. It’s a first step to loving yourself both inside and out, and you can go and do whatever you want to express that–piercings, contacts, makeup, a sticker. Just remember that no one looks like you and that the features you have and the way they have been put together is just for you.


31-Day Self-Love Writing Challenge

January is Self-Love month, and it marks the 4th year that we’ve hosted the 31-Day Self-Love Writing Challenge. You can participate by submitting your self-love writing to be published on this blog. You can submit your writing here. You can also participate by writing your self-love posts on your own blog and linking back to the 31-Day Self-Love Writing Challenge, 2014 blog post and Facebook event. If you don’t start on January 1st, that’s fine! You can jump into the challenge whenever you want.

Win a Copy of Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works

Each blog post you write is one entry into our random drawing to win an autographed copy of my book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works. You’ll also be entered into our drawing to win our upcoming Self-Love e-products that we’ll be announcing soon.

If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your self-love writing, you can write in a journal or write yourself self-love emails. If writing isn’t for you, simply reading others’ self-love writing can be powerful and beneficial to you on your self-love journey.

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1 Response to My Face

  1. Dear JAC,
    Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. Here’s the part that stands out for me. “And then eventually, thinking that was easier; it wasn’t second nature, but first nature. Automatic.
    I do believe when we decide to love ourselves, our bodies, our uniqueness, it does eventually become automatic. What once was a cause for criticism vanishes and love comes in and takes it’s place!

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