In choosing an item to surrender from my buffet of self-criticisms I have gone with the one I thought least likely to start with: my body. Most people do not know I suffered from bulimia years ago and got myself to cut that cycle cold turkey about 15 years ago. However, what I am discovering now in having to heal from some recent trauma is my self-loathing is deep and dark and long-lasting.
Just because I am even writing this does not mean it is simple or common. It’s a deep spiral that orbits down into the essence of me. Now that I know it’s there to the degree that it is – I can take action to unravel it. SO I begin this month with giving up any way that I thought my body should be or isn’t or anything about it at all that burdens me in anyway. All the loathing of myself has led me to an unfulfilled athletic career and an injury of a spinal disk and a life of settling for less than I am capable of. Yeah that sounds big and it is. The story is long and turbulent. The bottom line is instead of having freedom to live I became trapped in a cycle of broken dreams and emptiness of heart.
For now I am putting into action the following: exercise this month is all about bliss and endorphins! Movement for the pure energy and happy effects is causes, nothing painful and nothing that does not make me smile during and after. I am taking my new hobby of Hula Hooping to the next level – learning new moves and doing it outside somewhere near the beach. I am also going to use self-massage techniques several times a week to undo some of the damage I caused over the years. Whew!
Michelle Minero, the Co-Founder of this blog and the overarching Love Warrior Community published her book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works. You can buy her book online or at stores in Petaluma, Sonoma and Healdsburg, California. For upcoming events and book signings, visit Michelle’s Events page.