Yesterday I wrote about working through my work-life balance issues from the point of view of needing more people-focused days and more of a social life. Today began as a light work day, and it wasn’t very people focused; it was more relaxed and watch Grey’s Anatomy focused. I realized that do-nothing days are not very relaxing. I also realized that I feel like I’m missing something from my day if I don’t get any work done.
My self-love act for today, I turned off Grey’s Anatomy, vacuumed, helped my brother move some things into the moving truck and did some work, which fortunately for me revolved all around self-love. Once I got up and started to do things, I began to feel a lot more fulfilled.
I learned that:
The act of watching a lot of TV in one sitting is not very enjoyable, even if the TV show I’m watching is.
I need to be productive every day to be happy. I can be productive in many ways, cleaning my space so I feel better, going for a walk, hanging out with my family, doing work.
I need a mix of passion-work and people to be happy. Without people-focused moments and days, I start to feel isolated or like I’m being a bad friend, communicative human being, etc. If I’m not working, I’m not fulfilled because I’m passionate about my work, and I’m not fulfilled because I start to become self-critical and tell myself things like I’m not doing enough, or I’m not progressing quickly enough, or I’m not taking action on what I want in life and so forth.
I need a balance of the two, in-person people interaction and my work. When I began working on The Human Experience, a queer/ally publication, I had weekly video chat meetings with the 3 other people who I founded the publication with. It wasn’t in-person communication, but we were a team and we’d chat regularly and see each others’ faces weekly. We brainstormed and planned and worked together on a common goal brought together by our passions and personal self-growth goals. It reminded me of my senior year in college when I was the Editor-in-Chief of the school newspaper. It reminded me of that team-family environment.
That element, that people element was what I was missing from all of my other passion projects and from my work. I want and need that team-family environment. I’m passionate about community building, encouraging others in their goals and growth and creating supportive family-like environments. I can do that when creating online communities and projects, but it’s not the same when it’s lacking in-person connections and that in-person team environment.
Noted, I thrive when I get to work with and create that in-person team environment.
Also, I want to incorporate how I focus into my exploration of creating more balance in my life. My focus works in spurts. I’m really good at putting all of my attention on one project at a time, and it doesn’t have to be over a long period of time. One day could be all focused on one thing, and the next day I could be focused on something else. Or in the morning I could be focused on one thing, and then in the evening on something else. Clarity doesn’t come to me as easily when I’m multi-tasking, but when all of my focus is on one thing at a time I think clearly and work effectively.
Also, if I don’t do something when it occurs to me, I may not do it. So I should either do something in the moment, or have a system where I can write it down somewhere visible so I will remember to do it later, and I should put down a deadline or a specified time and date to do X.
I work best with small goals, a time/milestone outline of the greater picture and a clear image of my larger goal so I know what I’m working towards.
I want to start paying attention to how my brain processes things, how I work best and what things in life bring me balance and happiness so I can start acting on all of these things to create a nice work-life balance.
– Emelina Minero
Join us in the 31 Day Self-Love Writing Contest to win an autographed copy of Michelle Minero’s book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works. Read through the Self-Love Posting Guidelines for inspiration on different ways you can focus on bringing more love into your life through the 7 paths of the Self-Love Diet. Read through 2012’s monthly Self-Love Writing Prompts for ideas on topics you can write about to help you focus more on loving yourself, and read through others’ self-love posts for inspiration at the bottom of the prompts page. Share your self-love journey with us on Facebook and Twitter.
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Gay Media Network, and is Curve’s Social Media Manager. She’s launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication, The Human Experience. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.