Change = Self-Love

In my life I have been codependent. I need to let go of this behavior in order to make positive change happen in my life.

I need to start taking care of myself and only myself. To stop rescuing people and trying to control other people’s problems. I cannot continue in this cycle for the rest of my life. This must start now. I thought I took enough time off after Brant to be in a healthy relationship with Chad or to not be codependent with him. I was severely mistaken. I did not spend that year being good to myself. I did not learn to love myself nearly enough to enter into a new healthy relationship.

After that I searched desperately for some person because I didn’t feel worthy again. I dated a guy who hated himself even more than I did. And when I started to become emotionally attached or dependent, and he noticed it, he backed off. Then I continued this by dating another guy for 3 months. This was the same story of lack of self-worth followed by dependency. The only reason I didn’t get attached to my last boyfriend too soon for him was because I was too damaged by the previous one still to fully let him in as soon as I let the other 2 in. So in return I got attached about the same time he did, if not later. But I didn’t love myself enough even then to get out of the relationship when I noticed many signs and bad red flags. I kept questioning and hoping it was going to prove wrong and or change. Because I had already related the relationship working out with my level of self-worth.

So what has to Change for and from September on is my self-love and self-worth. I want to be single and happy about this. I want to set my life on the forward positive track. Find things and center myself. Discover my needs. Say no to a relationship because it will 100% stop this personal development which I drastically need in order to live a full and happy life with the healthy relationship that I someday will have.

But I will not have one until I have these changes within myself. And I now love myself enough to do that for myself. (:

-Anonymous (:

Self-Love Diet Front CoverJoin us in the 31 Day Self-Love Writing Contest to win an autographed copy of Michelle Minero’s book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That WorksRead through the Self-Love Posting Guidelines for inspiration on different ways you can focus on bringing more love into your life through the 7 paths of the Self-Love Diet. Read through 2012’s monthly Self-Love Writing Prompts for ideas on topics you can write about to help you focus more on loving yourself, and read through others’ self-love posts for inspiration at the bottom of the prompts page. Share your self-love journey with us on Facebook and Twitter.

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2 Responses to Change = Self-Love

  1. Dear Anonymous,
    Reading your post from September, I can hear your growing consciousness of unhealthy patterns in your relationships with others. I applaud you for being aware of the need to start looking within and cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself! Knowing what we need to do, and doing it, are two different things. I hope you have been gentle with yourself, and will continue to reflect on the changes you need to make within yourself in order to have healthy, loving, reciprocal relationships with others. This can be a big job, and I encourage you to seek outside help from people who have created healthy relationships, from reading books, going to support groups and/or seeking a therapist who can support you in the changes you describe above. It takes courage and support to make these kind of changes. Thanks for sharing your intentions with the Love Warrior Community. This is another place you can get support for loving yourself!
    Blessings on your journey,

  2. Pingback: Change = Self-Love | Love Warrior Community

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