Healing and Patterns

Dear Self love Warriors,

It has been a while since I wrote as I have been sick with Puemonia. I know I did not spell that right.:) I have been wanting to write for a while now. I want to share a few things…the first is I have made it my daily practice to meditate three times a day for a few minutes each, grounding myself in my safe, secure and loving place within my minds eye. This has brought much love, calming energy and perspective to my days. The second part is I have continued to ask myself the question What Would Love Do? It’s amazing how this can stop and make me think, and how difficult it can be. I have had to stay in bed for over a week and a half, and for anyone who knows me, this is extremely difficult. What was made conscious to me is how much I have lived in a system of actions and beliefs that no longer serve me, not a system that I desire to be in any longer. I have lived in a system unknowingly of a check list. If I went to work and was productive, helped someone, got things done, and was loving towards others, these were things that all went on the good side of the list. If I struggled emotionally, did something that someone else may not have liked, or did not meet my standards, these were all types of things that went on the negative checklist. How I feel about myself has been dictated by this list. What I realize is this list has nothing to do with who I am, or my value and my worth. I made this checklist at a very young age partially because of trauma, but to also fight the belief that I had no value and worth, as so strongly dictated to me by my family. When I was resting this past week and a half I felt like I was being tortured because I could not do many of the things I daily put on the good list that have made me feel like I have value and worth. The truth is I am a loving human being that has value and worth outside of what I do. I am a spirit in a human body. This has been my work this past week, to love myself and work on not putting things on a negative or positive check-list. My worth is not based on this. I see how it has served me in my life, but had no purpose in my life currently. Self love is working on changing this pattern because somewhere within I know I am really worth it.

Love,

Lindsey

Lindsey Wert is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Sonoma County with special interest in treatment and prevention of eating disorders and sexual trauma. Lindsey’s passions are supporting women in learning how to love themselves from the inside out. Lindsey contributes to her community by giving eating disorder presentations, doing prevention work and supporting the health at every size movement. Visit Lindsey’s personal website, From the Inside Out: Self Love and Transformation

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