This past week I have been going back and forth between extremely relaxed and happy about life and extraordinarily overwhelmed and exhausted. What was the factor that decided my state of mind?
I chose a positive mindset or I chose to be stressed out. I didn’t change what I was doing. I just chose to go to sleep happy and relaxed. I chose to wake up happy. Today, I have chosen to be stressed, and I know I can change my mindset within minutes if I choose to do so. But sometimes it can be hard to make that choice when you feel like life isn’t going the way you want it to.
What would love do? Love would obviously choose a positive mindset and I would stop thinking negatively towards life, my circumstances and myself. Negativity only breeds negativity.
But I’m stuck because love would do something else, and I don’t what that is yet. Love would also decide to change my actions. I can choose to change my mindset towards an unhappy life, but eventually I’ll get back into a rut of feeling overwhelmed if I don’t change my actions. My actions and mindset need to be congruent with each other, and they’re not.
I know I’m doing too much, so the obvious answer would be to do less. But I’m not sure what to cut from my life when I’m passionate about everything that I’m doing. Except, since I’m doing too much, it takes away some of the joy since I’m living an imbalanced life.
What else would love do? Love would get my financial situation taken care of. With all my time going towards non-paid work, I don’t have time for paid work. That’s not a valid excuse, but it’s the one I tell myself. So, what would love do? I think love would have to cut back on what I’m doing with my life, so I can make money.
Or love would find ways to monetize what I am doing, so I can make money and be able to support myself.
Without balance in all areas of my life, the negative mindset will continue to creep in from time to time.
So, what would love do? Love would work towards balance. Love would say yes to opportunity, but I’m not sure what opportunity yet. I’m saying yes to all of my ideas and they are just making me busier.
Love would also say no. But I’m not sure yet what love would say no to. Do I stop working for Curve Magazine. Would love say no to the Love Warrior Community. Would love say no to Community Bucket List. Would love say no to writing book reviews. Would love say no to taking classes. I would love to say no to that, but I need those to defer my student loans.
What would love do?
Love would allow me to relax and be okay with not knowing. Love would allow me to just be and sit with myself, doing nothing. Love would let me rest. Love would let me sleep and not get sick. Love would let me take time for exercise and friends and a nice relaxing read. Love would say there is time to go to the movies and I could even bike there because I wouldn’t be worried about time.
Love would allow me to do nothing and in those moments where my mind wouldn’t be racing with thoughts, ideas, plans or actions – maybe then I could think clearly about what love wants me to do. What do I need to let go of? What can I let go of? What do I need to make time for in my life for balance? And how can I go about making time for that?
That’s what love would do.
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.
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