Today I did a many things that were self loving. What I am finding after the day is done is that there is much work to be done on the critical part of me that tells me I needed to be doing productive things during the day as well…as if spending time loving someone, being with someone and sharing laughter is not productive? I think not! I think that it is valuable and very important and my lack of giving it to myself and duration has equipped my mind to thinking that I need to be doing instead of being. This, as I have written about before, is so important for me to work on and identify when I am in the process of feeling guilty. Who says I have to be doing? Society? Old family beliefs and patterns instilled in my mind and memory since I was a child? Correct! And now my life is my own and I consciously decide to change this.
Today was a lovely day. I slept in until noon, which I hardly ever do. I was not feeling very well so I gave my body extra rest followed by a nice walk with a friend and a late lunch that included one of my favorite types of food with a great friend Amanda. We talked about life over thai food and memories made. After this I enjoyed watching a basketball game on tv with my roommate. I rarely do such things—but it was awesome to sit down with her and of course the athlete in me who played years of basketball was critiquing every mistake:) as well as great move—and I enjoyed it! It made me miss basketball and how good I was at it, and more importantly how I felt doing it. I realized I want to play and do more of this, possibly on a competitive league of some sort. After this my friend came over and we shared great conversation followed by watching a show we both love called Once Upon a Time. It was great to just be able to enjoy the day…without expectations of any sort. At the end of the night I hear my critic, but I know that if I go back to the start of the day I would not have done anything different. This is my work—to slow down—to be—to let others in—and to enjoy my time—and especially my time off, knowing that I don’t have to fill every second with something.
Lindsey Wert is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Sonoma County with special interest in treatment and prevention of eating disorders and sexual trauma. Lindsey’s passions are supporting women in learning how to love themselves from the inside out. Lindsey contributes to her community by giving eating disorder presentations, doing prevention work and supporting the health at every size movement. Visit Lindsey’s personal website, From the Inside Out: Self Love and Transformation
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