My writing for the 10 Minute Self-Love Writing Challenge via the Love Warrior Community.
9:02 pm. I woke up around 10:18 am and I felt happy, energized (without caffeine), loving towards myself and excited to start the day, remenants from the previous day’s self-love work and from the re-launch of the Love Warrior Community, from the great early response from the 10 Minute Self-Love Writing Challenge & for the appreciation of our wonderful intern, Ja’el, who is helping us spread self-love work, body acceptance and self-acceptance to a larger number of people. I set my alarm clock for 8 am so I could borrow the car before my mom went to work to deposit a check before I started working for Curve. That didn’t happen, but I didn’t mind that it didn’t happen.
I was at my computer from around 10:30 am to around 7:56 pm. I had very small breaks, for lunch, for going to the bathroom, and a couple 2 minute breaks to just get up and walk around. After 7:56 pm, I stepped away from my computer to enjoy dinner, talk with the fam, now it’s 9:02 ish and I’m back at my computer, but by choice.
I wanted to get exercise into my day today because I knew movement would be good for my body since I’m sitting at my computer most of the time, but when I finished the bulk of my work for today, I realized I just wanted to slowly enjoy dinner, talk with my family, sit on the couch and just rest, doing nothing. That was one loving choice for the day. Realizing that I needed to slow down and stop doing, doing, doing. I’m not slowing down by much, but I’m slowing down a little, and that’s a start. And taking note that I need to slow down is a start. And watching my racing thoughts calm down is exciting. I feel more relaxed.
Also today, before I started working for Curve, I got this slight anxiety in my stomach. I have about 6 or 7 articles I’m working on, plus other stuff and this created a mentality of “I have to do these quickly to lessen the list”. Do I really? No. Am I getting things done on time? Yes. This slight anxiety made me question by ability. The sneaking thought swerved it’s way into my brain, “You’re not doing a good enough job. You could do more.” Is that true? No and yes. I am doing a great job, and I know it. When self-doubt tries to bully me, I just need to realize that it’s my inner self-critic trying to tell me something else. I know that I’m doing a great job, so “I’m not doing good enough” is nonsense.
The other question: Am I doing enough? The answer is yes. I’m doing enough, and then some. Could I do more? Yes. But would it be healthy? No. I need balance. These thoughts went through my head for about 2 minutes, then I talked them out, quieted them and then really enjoyed my work day because self-doubt wasn’t clouding my thoughts.
Later in the evening I was talking to my editor about something & while discussing a project she also told me that she appreciated me and the work that I do, and that I was doing a great job. That was good to hear, and when I first started working for Curve, when I didn’t know where I stood with them, and when I was figuring out the swing of things, I “needed” to hear that confirmation. Now, I don’t need to hear that. I know what I’m doing. I know what I’m capable of. I know what needs to get done. And I know I’m doing a great job. It was nice to hear, but I didn’t need to hear it. That’s pretty cool. When my self-worth comes from within me, and not from what other people tell me.
More thoughts that I had today. I have tension in my neck, shoulders and all along my right arm, shoulder and hand. A lot of it comes from typing and being at the computer all day long and for most days. How do I relieve this? I’ve been stretching my fingers, hand, wrist and arms lately, but I read a self-love post written by Katie Benedetto that she submitted today for the 10 Minute Self-Love Writing Challenge and she talked about taking tiny adventures and talking them often and how that was her way of showing herself more love. That really resonated with me.
I used to take a lot of tiny adventures and I have stopped. Part of the reason is because I’m working so often, and just about all of my work is based from my computer. This brought in a recurring theme of I need balance. I need time away from my computer. I need time not working. I need time outside of the house, socializing, exploring, going out with friends, but not just with friends, going out by myself. I crave more tiny adventures. I think I’ll treat myself to the movies soon as my first tiny adventure.
Another thought today, I’m overworking myself. I have a small editing gig I need to finish for a newsletter tomorrow. I’m helping my sister with some editing so she can submit her book proposal to a publisher that I want to finish by Friday, but the bulk of it by tomorrow. She wrote a book called The Friendship Effect (It’s AWESOME). Someone else called me today saying they needed help with getting something formatted so they can get everything finalized to publish their book via Smashwords. I said I would look over it to see if I could do it, and if not, I’d search to see if I knew of anyone who could. I don’t mind doing all of these things. I love to actually, but I realized something today. I love helping people, yes. I want to spend my whole life helping others, that I already knew, but I extend myself too much, sometimes. Not only sometimes, but often.
What I learned from this. In order for me to find my balance, I need more me time. I need more time helping myself, which in turn will help me to help others. If I’m coming from a more centered, balanced place, it will inevitably help everyone, myself and those around me.
Goal/Action/Something to think about:
The question isn’t how can I gain more balance in my life? The question is what actions can I take to bring more me time into my life? I need scheduled me time. Whether it’s for going for a walk, going to the movies, meeting up with a friend, going out to get a cup of coffee and read. Going into the city, going out dancing, all of these things. I need more of all of these things, and I need to start bringing them into my life now.
I’ve been doing a lot of goal setting recently and it has been helping me a lot. I updated my action-oriented bucket list. I created a 1 Year Roadmap. I’ve been talking about, writing about and sharing my goals with everyone and I’ve been achieving them successfully, which has been bringing me a lot of joy. But all of my goals are others oriented. Re-launching the Love Warrior Community, getting X and Z article written, getting the Community Bucket List Mastermind revved up again, checking in with others on their goals, etc. All of this is great, but right now, as I am writing this self-love post that must have passed 10 minutes by now, I realized that I’m missing something HUGE from my action-oriented bucket list. I’m missing something HUGE from my 1 Year Roadmap. I didn’t put in any goals, or any action steps to take or milestones regarding me time or social time.
That’s the missing ingredient to my balance. So! My next self-love action to take: Update my action-oriented bucket list & my 1 Year Roadmap to include those goals & schedule that time into my life, and tell myself that it is important and needed. 🙂
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.
Go here to submit your 10 minute self-love writing: Share your writing with the Self-Love Warrior group blog!, here to see a list of all self-love writing submitted for this event & to get a run down of what’s going on & here to join the event via the Official Facebook Event page & to get updates on the 10 Minute Self-Love Writing Challenge.