Today I am finding myself feeling really sick. I have been sick with colds, the flu and sinus infections the past month and today my body is saying enough is enough. I, like much of our have-to-do driven culture find it hard to slow down and give my body the rest that it needs. In the past year I have really had to re-evaluate my expectations that I put on myself as well as figure out new boundaries and guidelines that I value and wish to live by. I have found that I believe true love looks like me taking care of myself when I am sick and not seeing clients when I am not feeling well, or working at all. This means no running errands or getting house held chores done as well. Now sometimes I am not always able to do this financially so I am learning to set boundaries with myself…and limits that I know need to be set in place.

My self-love today is deciding that after this I am not going to work on notes the rest of the night, instead I am going to rest. Notes can wait because my body needs love and rest, and ultimately this is what will feel best. My self-love action is writing this, sticking to my boundaries and putting healing energy into the universe for healing and health.



Lindsey Wert is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Sonoma County with special interest in treatment and prevention of eating disorders and sexual trauma. Lindsey’s passions are supporting women in learning how to love themselves from the inside out. Lindsey contributes to her community by giving eating disorder presentations, doing prevention work and supporting the health at every size movement. Visit Lindsey’s personal website, From the Inside Out: Self Love and Transformation

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1 Response to Boundaries

  1. This is something I struggle with and that I have been working on a lot lately. I’m making slow progress, and it feels good, but I’m also looking forward to further slow progress to bring in more balance.

    “In the past year I have really had to re-evaluate my expectations that I put on myself as well as figure out new boundaries and guidelines that I value and wish to live by.”

    4, 5 months ago, I’m uncertain of the time frame, but a chunk of time ago I felt horribly overwhelmed and unhappy. I was doing everything I wanted to be doing. I was “living” my passions. I achieved my top item on my action-oriented bucket list, writing for Curve Magazine. I was working on X, Y and Z, starting a mastermind group, joining another online community, starting a club, doing a lot of small & big things that I was and still am really passionate about. But I was constantly exhausted and because of that I was unhappy. I was overwhelmed and overworking myself to an unhealthy point. I didn’t have time to enjoy any of the things that I loved doing. By overworking myself, I took out the joy from my passions and in its place I added stress, I added unrealistic expectations that I couldn’t meet and that resulted in self-doubt and insecurity.

    About 4 to 7 months ago, I realized that 99% of my stress and negativity came from the unrealistic expectations I set for myself. The solution became simple. Simplify my life. Lessen my self-expectations. Do less. Create less for myself. The solution isn’t as easy to pull off, at least not right away, but it can be pulled off over time, which is what I’ve been doing, and it’s working.

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