Over Analyzing

Self-love 12.31.2011

Have you ever over analyzed your life to where everything has to be perfect for a lifetime? Everything has to fall in line with your plan and no other factors can fall into play. At this very moment is when I over analyze too much, and get stressed out.

I am graduating May 13, 2012 from Randolph College, founded as Randolph-Macon Woman’s College in 1891, with a degree in Political Science: International Relations with minors in Spanish and Studio Art. I believe that I have significant contributions to make to the world of diplomacy and US foreign policy, which is part of the reason why I ran for Student Government President, and I won. While in the position of Student Government President, I’m also the Co-President of an all-female a cappella group called Songshine, a member of the Model United Nations delegation team, a member of two sports teams, a member of lots of extracurricular activities and I work at a coffee shop.

I am known for being involved in any and every aspect at school, but sometimes I think I over do some things. I know what I want to do after graduation, attend the Master of Arts in Political Science with a concentration in European Union Policy Studies one-year, 33-credit graduate program in Florence, Italy, which results in an MA degree in Political Science from James Madison University. But trying to do all of the application requirements, keeping up with my school work, maintaining my responsibilities as a leader in my school and trying to keep a social life is a wee bit difficult for me.

Sometimes I start to doubt myself, my abilities and why I even decided to take a leadership position in so many organizations, but that’s who I am. I am someone who does things for other people. I like to make things happen and get things done. I start to over analyze things when I think I can’t get something done or I feel that I have taken on too much. When I over analyze and doubt myself, I begin to feel like such a failure.

But I’m not. I have accomplished so much in my life, which is why I hold the leadership positions now. Everyone else seems to know my potential and they are positive that I will achieve my goals, but I have so many feelings of doubt.
I’ve been reading from Cody McKibben’s blog site Thrilling Heroics and he talks a lot about settings goals instead of making plans with the things you want to do in life.

“Just having made the plan in the first place makes you about sixty percent more likely to follow through on the action than if you hadn’t made plans and set a time in your head in the first place”

I’ve created this plan to do x, y, and z in such and such time with no room for change, disappointment or relief. I over analyzed my plan, which makes my life more stressful, like I’m running out of time because I can’t carry the world on my shoulders anymore.

My newfound knowledge thanks to Cody McKibben: How to Set Personal and Professional Goals

“We’ve already seen how powerful it can be when you set goals for yourself. You won’t succeed at every goal, but review your personal development progress at the end of each year to see how much you do accomplish! Simply setting the goals for yourself will greatly increase the likelihood that you’ll get much closer to your dream lifestyle in all these areas of your life.”

I would love to live overseas as an Ambassador, get paid to travel as my dream lifestyle and marry the man of my dreams, but my doubtfulness and strict plans will not help me get there any faster than I planned on it! I can start with a simple goal and not psych myself out of great opportunities. Stress is not meant to hinder your performance level in any way. I think I am still learning how I personally deal with stress. But it’s a work in progress. Rome was not built in a day and neither is my future. So to finally rid myself of these awful plans, here are my first 5 goals.

Goal #1: Graduate College
Goal #2: Finish filling out applications to JMU, internship/oversea job opportunities
Goal #3: Get accepted to the JMU grad program
Goal #4: Get a job offer overseas teaching English
Goal #5 Breathe and remember that I can always make more goals

Can you think of a time when you were so stressed out about your future that you thought your plan was off track or thought that you wouldn’t follow through at all? How did it make you feel? How did you learn to manage your stress? Instead of making plans, set 5 goals for yourself and tell me about them! I would love to hear about your future endeavors and how your goals will help you achieve them!

About jaelisawesome

I am currently a senior at Randolph College, founded as Randolph-Macon Woman's College in 1891, majoring in Political Science: International Relations with minors in Spanish and Studio Art. Born and raised in Richmond, Virginia I believe that I have significant contributions to make to the world of diplomacy and US foreign policy. As Student Government President I am the liaison between the students and the faculty and administration, as well as the student representative to the Board of Trustees. I also serve as the Co-President of an all female a cappella group Songshine. I am known for being involved in any and every aspect at school. Some of my passions include playing on the volleyball and tennis teams, singing in almost every group at my school, performing in my very first musical Spring Awakening in the theatre department to taking orders as a barista at the schools’ coffee shop Main Grounds. After I graduate in May 2012, I aspire to attend the Master of Arts in Political Science with a concentration in European Union Policy Studies one-year, 33-credit graduate program. The intensive, residential program is based wholly in Florence, Italy and results in an MA degree in Political Science from James Madison University. My goal is to spread the Love Warrior Community, meaning more people actively bringing self-love into their lives and into the lives of others, more people accepting and loving themselves as they are and more people empowered to follow their passions and share them with the world. The Love Warrior Community is as strong as those involved. By joining the Love Warrior Community, I have the opportunity to create my own self-love practice, bringing more love into my life and the lives of those around me. I will be able to influence a greater number of people and help them to see their value and worth beyond their bodies.
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2 Responses to Over Analyzing

  1. Dear Ja’el,
    You are a woman of high energy and many dreams. Your story is a familiar one to me. I too can over extend myself at times. It’s the shadow side of my passion, but I wouldn’t change it, I’ve just learned how to work with it.
    I created EDRS in 2005, by 2008 I had gone through the death of a my father-in-law, nephew, 2 cousins, aunt, and my mother. I found myself with a full psychotherapy practice, a growing organization to lead, a husband and family who deserved my time, and the need for more introspection and grieving time, all while I was trying to write a book. I found myself feeling taxed and tired, which interfered with the joy of all of the abundance that lived side by side with the losses in my life.
    I realized that my energy wanted to go to my book. It was a challenging process, but I decided to ask members of EDRS who I thought had leadership qualities if they would be interested in taking over the reins of EDRS so I could focus on my book.
    Haleh Kashani PhD took over EDRS and under her guidance it became a non-profit.
    One lesson I learned was that I could let go of my leadership roles and others will step in. EDRS continued and grew in ways it wouldn’t have if I had hung on.
    Another lesson I learned is that my energy level doesn’t always match my desires. More is not necessarily better.
    Thanks for the prompt, it helped me to remember some important lessons I’ve learned along the way!

  2. “Can you think of a time when you were so stressed out about your future that you thought your plan was off track or thought that you wouldn’t follow through at all? How did it make you feel? How did you learn to manage your stress?”

    I have felt extraordinarily stressed out often. I have never felt very off track and I haven’t worried that I wouldn’t follow through on something that I really wanted to happen, but I have let many things slip through the cracks that “I had to do” according to society, school, etc.

    My senior year of college I was stressed beyond belief, with running the newspaper, a lot of “clubs”, my senior paper, etc. If I could do one thing differently that year it would be less stress, less “have to’s”, less responsibility and bringing it back to the basics of my first year at R-MWC. I grew a lot during the 4 years, but I mastered “just being” my first year, then I lost that the other years. My first year, I lounged about and my main focus was the people, the experiences & being in the moment.

    A lot of stress, I have gotten waves of stress since being a post grad, and it was all self-imposed from my own deadlines, expectations and self-critical thoughts of “not doing enough”. But I’ve also experienced some AMAZING things since being a post grad and I don’t regret any of it.

    To let go of stress, let go of responsibilities. Decide what is the most important to you and put most of your passion and focus into that. If many things are very important to you, designate how you can best spend your time to each thing to benefit those things the most & to get the most out of it, but also look for ways where you can cut time.

    Recently I realized I spread myself out too thin & I was given wise advice via a fellow student in the Digital Nomad Academy, and he told me to put all of my focus on one thing, and make that one thing grow and prosper. I half took his advice. I love a lot of what I was doing. I just didn’t love feeing tired all the time, overworked and like I wasn’t doing a good job at anything because I was too spread out. So, I was able to drop one of the things that I was doing & I created myself guidelines, limitations and a flexible schedule. I looked at my responsibilities and what I wanted to contribute to each of my passions & I looked at how I would waste time. I cut out my actions that wasted time, I put in more structure into my life, making myself use my time more effectively. I stopped working about “All the things I had to do” and I set simple goals and focused on one small step at a time. It did wonders! I’m still reeling off the affects and am taking advantage of this one small step at a time process. 🙂

    Not being overworked and being able to put the proper amount of time into each passion without feeling rushed relieved my stress like Woah!

    “Set 5 goals for yourself and tell me about them!”

    Here are 6 goals pertaining to my self-love practice and the Love Warrior Community.

    1. Slowly add aspects to the Love Warrior Community (other pages, etc.)
    2. Successfully complete the 10 Minute Self-Love Writing Challenge.
    3. Help others with self-love and get many others to join the 10 Minute Self-Love Challenge.
    4. Create Love Warrior Community Store with Mom & add to site.
    5. Create year long self-love practice online mentorship with mom.
    6. Launch national/global self-love/LWC campaign.

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