Thinking About the Negative Can Be Beneficial

Self–Love – 7/11/11

Sometimes we have negative habits that we don’t like to reflect on because we’re embarrassed by them. These can be especially important to reflect on if we want to understand why we act certain ways, and how we can change.

I was working with my mom yesterday on her online self-love community, and I notice that sometimes I get cranky and frustrated when I work with my mom, which I really don’t like. And in general, when my energy is really low, or when I haven’t quite woken up yet, I can get in a cranky mood around my family.

I noticed myself getting crabby in the moment and was trying to stop it while it was happening, and was trying to understand why it was happening.

Later when my mom and I were in the hot tub, I told her that I didn’t like it when I got that way, and I was trying to understand why it happened, so I wouldn’t repeat it.

One thing I noticed is that my mood, for the most part, directly correlates to my energy level. After I had a spark (an energy drink), I noticed my mood and spirit pick up greatly, and I was no longer crabby, was in a great mood, and we worked together amazingly, productively, and in a great positive atmosphere.

Energy makes me super happy, caffeine gives me energy, but in the long run, I want to work on cultivating natural energy.

Another thing I noticed, we were working on something new that I had to research first, and I hit snags of not knowing what to do, which made me frustrated. Once I was able to let go of not knowing how to do this new thing from the start, and that it would take a little time, and that that was okay, I let go of the frustration (the energy drink helped too with clarity). 🙂

Also, we would work on various tasks, simultaneously, sometimes switching tasks without finishing another, which scattered my organization and focus.

My mom and I also use Google Docs to organize all of our tasks and their importance. We strayed from this, but we updated it yesterday, and I felt a lot better afterwards. Instead of having everything noted on email and papers, it was all in one location, which helped me to relax, to feel organized and composed, and it helped me focus.

Another thing, my mom is my mom, and I allow myself to get cranky and crabby around my family, which is okay, but it’s not okay to take my negative energy out on my family. And if I were working with someone who was not my mom, I would never let myself appear anything buy calm, and helpful.

I was talking to my mom about this in the spa, and told her that I didn’t like it when I got that way, and that I was working on not doing it again. I think simply talking about it, aloud, helped a lot. And noting to myself that I don’t like when I emanate negative energy, that it doesn’t feel good for myself and those around me. Simply noting it helps me to not want to repeat it.

Getting cranky while working with my mom, or being cranky sometimes around my family may be a small thing, but it’s a small thing that I don’t like, and that doesn’t feel good.

It’s most definitely okay to feel emotions and to express them, but the nonetheless, I don’t like how the negative ones feel. 🙂 Like my mom says, they can be used as a tool to help us understand what’s going on, or if there’s something that the emotion is telling us that we want to change.

I think a lot of it has to do with my energy level, which I have been working on lately with getting more sleep, drinking more water, drinking less caffeine, exercising consistently, and cultivating self-love and positivity.

What I love about actively working and reflecting on self-love is that I become more in tune with my emotions, thoughts and actions. I can begin to understand the message behind my emotions and the effects and results of my thoughts and actions. This helps a lot because I’m working on duplicating what brings positivity and happiness into my life, and eliminating what drains me of joy in my life. Self-love helps me better understand how everything I do affects myself and those around me, and it helps me make loving choices to bring joy into my life, and thus joy in the lives of those around me.

Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.


About emelinaminero

I'm passionate about people, community, self-love and the diversity in the human experience.
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