Self-Love: My Ultimate Bucket List Goal
Everything I do, I do to meet one end: Happiness. Happiness is my ultimate bucket list goal. Everything I do, I do to be happy.
At least that’s the plan. Everything I do doesn’t always lead to happiness. The choices I make, the thoughts I think – all of these don’t lead to happiness.
I have realized that two things make me extraordinarily happy:
- Having a lot of energy. Being high energy makes me happy. Being tired makes me unhappy. When I wake up with natural energy and am alert, or after I have a lot of caffeine and feel the energy flowing through me, I feel unstoppable. I can’t help but smile and feel happy.
- Focused high productivity. When I am super productive, and focused, achieving my goals, and getting things done – a.k.a moving forward, I am happy. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, purpose, and it gives me more energy.
Now that I think about it, there’s a third thing that makes me uber happy: being in the present.
If I were to create a chart, with Happiness as my end goal, then “Being in the Present” would fall directly under happiness because if I’m living in the present, I’m not worrying about anything, my mind is clear, I’m focused on the moment, and I’m enjoying myself and my surroundings. Then “High Energy” and “Focused High Productivity” would fall under “Being in the Present” because I’m often in the present when I have high energy and have high actionable focus.
Other things that would help me achieve these 3 states:
- Setting and achieving small to large goals.
- Having stable income
- Having a clutter free space and mind
- Being physically active and healthy
- Having a balanced social life
These above things will help de-clutter my mind, will give me energy, and will build that energy by creating a consistent rising momentum.
Streaming Books: Information Overload
I’ve been reading bits and pieces of books, The 80/20 Principle, which states “that 80 percent of our success stems from a mere 20 percent of our efforts.” I’ve been reading some of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. I come back to The 4 Hour Work Week. I read blog posts from the lifestyle designers that I follow about minimalism, focus, and productivity. One thing I’ve realized is that I need to stop reading so much, or only focus my attention to one book at a time, and the one that I think will benefit me the most. Which right now is The 80/20 Principle. These ideas and concepts are good, and I’m glad I have been reading a lot of different resources, but it’s time I stop thinking of all of these great concepts and start putting them into action.
One thing that I have gotten from all of my readings is this: Find my focus. Find my main goal. What is the purpose of everything that I’m doing? What am I trying to achieve? Once I know what I want, and have it outlined of how I can best achieve that, it will make it easier for me to see everything that I do that helps me achieve this goal, and everything that I do that doesn’t help me reach my goal. I can then cut out what doesn’t bring me happiness, and add more of what does. Tracking and taking notes of my actions and thoughts, will help me test and control them to get better results towards my goal of happiness.
An Unhappy Start to my Day
I woke up this morning very tired, probably because I got 3 hours of sleep the night before, and that impact usually takes effect 2 days later, which is today. I woke up, not wanting to consume a spark (a semi healthy energy powder drink), and when I was looking at what to eat for breakfast, I saw the last piece of cheesecake, which is high in sugar and can lead to a lovely crash in energy later. I ate that. Then, I began to read a bit, and then fell asleep again.
I woke up groggy when I heard my dad come home early, and got up to say hi and hang out. It was about 1:20pm.
My dad was in a great mood and I felt his high energy, ironically he was talking about taking a nap. He may have been tired, but he was giving off such positive energy.
I asked him if I could borrow his car to go to the gym while he napped, and then realized that I didn’t want him to wake up to a dirty kitchen and messy living room after his nap because he’d probably clean it, when he should be relaxing with the rest of his day off. So I began to clean the kitchen, and made myself a spark (the energy drink), had some lunch, and then began to write this.
Inactivity and Feeling like I “have to” Do Something When I Don’t
I had been inactive all day, and it didn’t feel good at all. The only cure was to start taking action towards the goals I had planned or were forming for my day. I’ve been wanting to write something like this, a plan orientated around my main focus in life, and now I did. I had been putting it off. I thought it had to be elaborate, which it didn’t. I thought it would take me forever to do, which it didn’t. If I want, I can expand on it later, turn it into a poster, but now – just writing it out as a list, and as a mini-chart on a paper plate work fine for me. And I feel better.
I woke up this morning feeling low energy, and I wasn’t in the best mood. I woke up with my sister calling me to help her watch a 5 year old, but I felt so tired. She told me I could go back to sleep, but I felt bad because I knew she needed the help. I went back to sleep with the intention that when I woke up, I would go over and help her. My dreams kept on revolving around what I “had to do”. I finally woke up, and called her, and it was noon, and the 5-year old had left. I created a big deal out of nothing, and added unnecessary stress to my day.
Then I read through some emails, and some articles that I thought were interesting online, and I just felt overwhelmed by good ideas that I wasn’t doing, I started to feel down about money, became overwhelmed, and I felt dejected when I saw someone start an online business with a similar base idea that I had a year ago, and never did. I shouldn’t have let that discourage me because the business is still different than my idea, and it should have made me happy to see that someone with a similar structure is prospering because it shows that if I follow through with my idea, it can do well.
The real reason behind my bad mood was that I realized that I was being inactive. I wasn’t going after my goals and dreams, I wasn’t accomplishing anything. Maybe that’s an overstatement because I am working towards my goals, but today I was doing nothing, I was being inactive, and it wasn’t making me happy.
I Decided To Take Action
If I wanted to get out of my low energy slump, I needed to start acting on my thoughts and desires, so I did. And I feel a lot better. I still don’t feel 100%, but I feel like 85%, which is better than where I was just a half an hour ago.
So, to start the rest of my day, I’m going to make my bed, put away my clothes in the living room, finish cleaning up the kitchen, (all of this helps me feel better because my space will be clean, and it will be clean for my parents), then go to the gym or go for a run. Then from there I’ll take action on some work responsibilities.
What do you need to do to get out of a slump? What’s the next step you need to take to work towards a goal you have in mind?
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.