Self–Love – 6/17/11
Updates on the Bucket List
I need to learn to set realistic goals for myself. I push myself too much and set aside too much for one day. I make unrealistic expectations for myself, listing 3 to 4 big projects that I want to finish in 1 day, which can realistically take me a week. This only sets myself up for frustration and the feeling of failure. This isn’t good.
I stepped back and thought about what I was accomplishing and what was on my bucket list, and I’m making great progress. I shouldn’t be beating myself up over not achieving the world in one day, but I should recognize and congratulate myself for the work that I’ve already done, and am doing.
I went on a walk with my sister two days ago; it was more like a run. I went with my sister Renee, who just had a baby a month ago. She walks so fast, I had to run to keep up with her.
Renee is great at organizing, planning, prioritizing, and getting things done effectively.
She told me that I should prioritize my list of things to do, and work on achieving one big task a day, that way I get things accomplished, feel productive, and have all of my focus on one given task, which will make me get through tasks more effectively, and more quickly.
A light bulb went off in my head! This makes perfect sense, especially after I was thinking a few days before how setting small goals and accomplishing them is a huge catalyst to productivity, to building momentum, and to getting things done.
On my Bucket List I have the following:
1. Write a screenplay and film it with my brother.
2. Write an ebook, about making your dreams reality through loving yourself, taking action, and participating in communities involving your passions.
3. Start my business. Register it as an LLC. Open a second bank account. Trademark my business name. By the domain names, and hosting to create the website. Create a logo and color scheme to use for branding myself. Get business cards, etc.
4. Work more on my creative writing blog, www.ecreativewritingideas.com
5. Write more fiction, at least once a week.
6. Train and sign up for a half marathon that I will run with my sister this October.
7. Treat myself healthier. Get more sleep. Eat healthier. Get a physical. Go to the dentist. Be healthy so I get less heartburn, and so I make sure I won’t develop diabetes, which runs high in my family.
8. Work on developing my Spanish speaking abilities, so I can speak Spanish well and consistently to my niece, Ninel.
9. Work more on developing my mom’s self-love community by updating and making her website more interactive so it can be a larger benefit to more people, and begin to reach more people.
10. Visit or stay updated with friends more frequently, explore San Fran more, and go to more music concerts and festivals.
11. Continue to push my comfort levels, to confront my fears, and to grow into the person I want to be.
12. Continue to get more editing, internet marketing, web design, and writing clients at $30 an hour, so I can have the money to support my above goals.
Since I wrote my last post, 2 days ago, I worked on 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 10, and 12.
Bucket List Goal 12: get more clients and work to support my startup business and my passions.
- I got two small paying projects completed, 1 yesterday and 1 today.
- I got a check in the mail from a project I completed a few days ago.
- I’m half way through a project for another client, which I’ll have completed by tomorrow, and I got in good work for another client today.
- After one of my current clients read my bucket list post of wanting more work to support my new business and life, she called me and told me she had a small task I could help her with and we scheduled an appointment this Monday.
- I have two big projects underway for 2 new clients, and a big project for another.
- I have 2 other potential clients.
I’m putting in a lot of work for number 12 on my bucket list. Before I was putting in a lot of work, but I had a delay period in getting paid. I’m still putting in a lot of work, and the money is starting to come in, and the work is now consistent and building.
Bucket List Goal 10: Stay updated with friends, explore the city more, work on social life, and go to more music concerts/festivals.
Today I had a nice long phone conversation with one of my best friends. In a couple weeks I’ll be hanging out with one of my friends from college in San Fran, and maybe another best friend from college for SF Pride. I’ll also be going to a free concert that weekend with One Republic and other cool bands playing. And I saw Bridesmaid yesterday with my mom and sister. My gosh was that a funny movie. I definitely want to get more movies in my schedule.
Bucket List Goal 9: Work more on building my mom’s Love Warrior Community.
I put in 2 hours today working with my mom’s online presence and created an outline of tasks to do to enhance the Self-Love Community and to make it more interactive and beneficial.
Bucket List Goals 6 and 7: Live healthier, eat healthier, get a physical and get all of my needed doctor apps, go to the dentist, get more sleep.
I got my physical and asked questions I had about things that concerned me and found out that I had nothing to be concerned about. I’m as healthy as a bill. I’ve been eating healthier, getting in regular exercise, and running more to start training for the half marathon. The only things I need to work on is better sleep, and I need to schedule my dentist appointment, but I’m doing great and feeling healthy. 🙂
Bucket List Goals 2 and 3: Write more of my ebook, and plan/start my business.
I have been doing just that, researching what I need to do to get my business going, creating a business plan, and working on an outline for my ebook.
Setting Realistic Expectations
I’ve been getting a lot accomplished on my bucket list, and I should be feeling amazing about it, but I had made my goals unrealistic when I put an impossible time frame on them. I should have prioritized them better, and made my goal one big task per day. If I got more done, great. If not, at least I accomplished a big task, and can focus on the next the following day.
If I make my goals unrealistic, I’ll just be setting myself up for failure and I’ll be unhappy, even if I achieve great things. Taking a step back and evaluating my bucket list and goals made me realize that I shouldn’t have felt down these past two days or stressed out because I stil got a lot accomplished. And I need to give myself more time to rest, relax, and sleep.
Sleep is a huge factor. When I’m tired, I’m slow, unproductive, cranky, and have negative energy. It’s just not productive to not sleep. I need to recognize that and create the habit of consistent, quality sleep, which would be healthy for every aspect of my life.
My self-loving actions that I’m working on:
Get more sleep. This is the most important and I should make this my number 1 priority.
Make time for movement in my day, even if it’s just a walk, a 1 mile mile jog, or an easy 30 minute bike at the gym. Every workout doesn’t have to be a half marathon training workout. Any movement is better than none.
Set boundaries and speak my truth. When I set aside one big task for the day, I need to make that my priority and focus on it. When I’m done, I can do whatever after, but I need to make my goals and my well being my main priority.
I was talking to my mom and my sister Renee, and they were telling me that I can tell them, “no” when they ask a favor of me. And suggested that I do whenever I have something else I want to focus on. Or I can give them a time frame. If I’m working on something, instead of stopping what I’m doing, I can tell them that when I finish, I can help them if they still need it. Or if I already scheduled my day, I should respect my schedule, and I can say that I’m free from time X to time X, but from here to here, I’ll be working, etc. I’ve started doing this these past couple days, and it makes me feel so much better. 🙂
How does it make me you feel when you begin to speak your truth?
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.