Self-Love = Self-Confidence
I arrived in the Bronx, NY at Manhattan College on Tuesday, May 3rd. I was staying with my friend Melissa, who I met twice. She’s one of my best friend’s best friends. 🙂 I first met her when my friend Laurence and I went to SF Pride. She told me that her friend from New York would join us. I then met her again about a week or two before I began my East Coast journey. She invited me to stay with her when I got to NY. So I did. 🙂 My whole East Coast trip has been characterized by meeting new people, but New York has been the epitome of this stage, and in NY I have become comfortable with being myself, with being by myself, and with meeting new people and getting involved in whatever environment I’m in by myself. I love it! Self-love is self-confidence.
When I arrived to Melissa’s campus, I first met her roommate and two of their friends because Melissa was at class. That night I was up until 6:00am playing different versions of Rock Band with a group of people I just met that day: Melissa’s roommate from Haiti, Sophi, Sophi’s friend, Gabi, from the Dominican Republic, and their friend Demitrius, from New Jersey. I had a blast!
Thursday night was my first night in the City. I was looking up places to go out to for the evening, and I was lucky to find out that Uh Huh Her was playing at a club. It’s a band consisting of 2 female singers/guitarists, and a male drummer. One of the singers is Alice from the L Word! I was stoked. She’s one of my favorite characters. I got up to the front of the stage! I also got to meet up with two of my friends from college that I hadn’t seen since 2008, Kristen and Nicki.
That night I made plans to meet up with Melissa, Sophi, and one of her friends after the show. I arrived at Stonewall at 11pm, and when I called to meet with them, I found out that they just left and wouldn’t arrive until about midnight. My first thought was, “What am I going to do by myself for an hour?”, but I didn’t let it get to me. I ordered a drink, sat down, bobbed my head to the music, then got up and went downstairs, thinking, “I’m not just going to sit by myself for an hour.” I saw people playing pool, and joined them. I started talking to everybody. I met people from Sweden, Texas, New York, everywhere. I had a blast, and that night I realized that I can enjoy being by myself, I can enjoy going out by myself, and I can enjoy meeting new people by myself. It was refreshing, exciting, and invigorating.
On Saturday, I went from Manhattan College in the Bronx to staying in Manhattan on Manhattan street with one of my best friends from college, Kelly. That night, her, her girlfriend and I went out to dinner, then they dropped me off at a club/bar. Again, I was by myself, but I just let myself get comfortable, and then I started talking to people. I had a blast, and ending up staying until 3:30am. I met a lot of cool people. I exchanged businesses cards with one woman who is starting a wine bar business. I made a friend named Erin, who was one of the two women serving as my wing woman for the night. I also got to practice my Spanish with a group of people from France and Ecuador.
On Thursday, the first night I was out by myself for a bit, I was people watching, and I realized that everybody is a little bit afraid to be by themselves. People either come with groups, or they come out to meet people, but they come out to connect with other people, not to be snobbish and keep to themselves. That’s when it hit me that we’re all on the same boat, whether we come alone or with a group of people; we come out to have fun. That made it easy for me to approach people because I realized that most people want to be approached, whether they seem stand offish, or not.
I went out again on Sunday with Kelly and Angelina, and I ran into my friend Erin, as well as two other people I met the night before, Alex and Arlene. I had a blast, interacted with new people and found out that Erin started her own clothing business and just sold her business. How cool is that! I’m surrounding myself with entrepreneurial friends. 🙂
I’ve been loving New York. I think New York may be my favorite East Coast location so far, and I’m excited for the rest of my stay here. Tomorrow I’ll be meeting with another friend from school, and the rest of my time here, until Thursday or Friday, I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to continue meeting with old friends, new friends, new people, and explore.
In New York I became truly comfortable with having fun on my own, and I learned how to drop anxiety on the street and watch it fall down the gutter. I love it! I’m excited to take this same attitude and apply it to exploration of San Francisco when I get back home. I’m also excited to apply this attitude to my life, in general. 🙂
In a few days, my next stop will be Massachussetts. 🙂 I’m excited.
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.