What Do I Love?
I love myself. I love loving myself. I love people. I love getting to know people, old and new. I love traveling, and adrenaline rushing experiences. I love pushing myself and stepping or jumping out of my comfort zone. I love personal growth. I love relaxing, and down time. I love experiencing new cultures and environments. I love meshing with others, and doing what’s right for me. I love caffeine. 🙂
I love engaging ambiguity, and I fear it – because it’s different, new, unknown, scary, which also makes it worthwhile and exciting.
When I was studying abroad in Spain, I had a week vacation for Carnaval. I traveled by myself to Madrid, Barcelona, and for the Carnaval parades, to Sitges, outside of Barcelona. When I was in Sitges, I roamed around by myself, sat, people watched, journaled, and enjoyed what I was watching. There was a kid parade, which was a HUGE production, during the day, then the adult parade, which was a bigger production, during the night. After the kid parade, I went into my hostel room, got dressed up for the evening with a partial face mask, some glitter paint for my face, and wings on my back (this was the common attire for the night), and I went out and watched the parade, it blew my mind away. The costumes, the music, the dancing, everything. The streets and people, including myself, were covered in rainbow confetti that the floats were shooting out everywhere. After the parade, I went back into my room and was preparing myself to go out to the clubs by myself. I was nervous.
I knew no one, and was going to be walking around late at night, alone. I called my oldest sister, and talked to her briefly, and began to re-read a section of the book I was currently reading, Personal Leadership. The section I re-read was, engaging ambiguity. It gave an example of this woman on a boat and how she was sea sick. She was out of her element, and the best way for her to no longer be sea sick was to jump straight into the water, and to submerge herself into the rhythm of the water. I was sitting on my bed at the hostel I was staying at, and I told myself I had to jump into the sea; I had to stand up, open the door, walk out of the hostel, and just walk to one of the clubs. So I did.
The club I went to was kind of empty. I was there relatively early and it was just me and the workers. I ordered some drinks, watched the Madonna concert on the television screen, engaged in occasional conversation with the bartenders, and just sat there for a while. I felt a little awkward, being the only customer at the club, but talking to the bartenders helped. Eventually, I left that club and went to a smaller bar where a drag show was happening. The place was packed, and I engaged a lot of people in conversation, from the bartenders, to the drag queens, to the people near me, and I danced! The crowd was a lot older, but it was still a lot of fun. 🙂 It was a lot of fun, and a great experience I would have never known if I let fear control me and stayed in my bed at the hostel.
Today I am leaving my cousin’s place in New Jersey, and I’m going into New York. This will be my first New York experience. I am scared, and I am excited, and partially numb. I don’t think it has hit me completely, yet. 🙂 I have wanted to visit New York since forever. I’m from the Bay Area in California, near San Francisco, on the other side of the country from New York. I went to college in Virginia, thinking, “I’ll have to visit New York while I’m here.” I didn’t. After I graduated, I took a 2 week trip around the East Coast with 2 of my friends, and then spent about a week in Southern California before I headed back home. I told myself, “I’m for sure going to visit New York during this trip.” I didn’t. Now, I have been traveling for about a month in my 2 month trip around the East Coast, and today I will be setting my feet on New York soil for a little over a week. 🙂
I’ve been told a lot of different things about New York. I’ve heard that it’s crazy amazing by some, or a horrible place with rude, fast paced people who don’t say hello or smile. 🙂 I was somewhere in New York for about 30 minutes before I came into New Jersey. It was this past Saturday evening, and the bus from DC dropped me off somewhere near Penn Station where I waited for my cousin to pick me up. The streets were PACKED with people, and it was overwhelming. I spilt ketchup on my green shirt from a junior whopper cheeseburger while on the bus and had 4 different stains on my shirt, and I was carrying my carry on and back pack. I felt like it wasn’t the best New York entrance. 🙂
I’ll be staying with 2 people while staying in NY, one of my super awesome friends from school, Kelly, who I haven’t seen in a couple of years – I think since 2009. And I’ll be staying with another awesome person, Melissa, who is a best friend of one of my best friend’s from back home.
I want to do all the touristy things. I want to explore the streets and see New York, and I most definitely want to go dancing. I don’t really know what all of the touristy things are that I want to see, and I don’t really know what I’m going to be doing, or who’ll I’ll be hanging out with, but I know I want to have fun. 🙂
My mom’s last post was about doing what you love, and that is my goal for right now, that is my goal while I’m in New York, that is my goal while I’m traveling around the East Coast, and that is my goal for life. I want to enjoy life, and do what I love, and right now that’s enjoying myself, the people around me, and the things that I’m doing. I think this all starts with enjoying myself, having balance, releasing stress, and living in and enjoying the moment. The idea of going to New York scares me. The idea of trying to see everybody I want to see on the East Coast before I go home, and trying to hit spot a, b, c, x, y, and Z before I leave stresses me. So, today, I decided to let go of that stress, and focus on what I’m doing in the moment, and I’m feeling a lot better. My goal for going into New York is the same, enjoying myself, what I’m doing, and those around me in the moment.
What are you doing that you love to do? What are your loves that you want to do?
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.