Today I was frustrated and angry. Sometimes when I’m frustrated or angry, I take a nap in order to relax, and it usually helps. I tried something different today.
My plan was to launch my mom’s new website today. If it gets up today, it will be later in the night, if not, it will be up this weekend.
I came home from the city early this morning. The house was messy, and the Christmas boxes were out to put the decorations, lights, and ornaments away.
I got a call from my dad, sounding stressed, and he asked me to help him put away the ornaments and the lights from the tree so the boyscouts could pick up our tree tomorrow. I said that I had to finish the website today, and he told me that I could put the website on hold to help.
At first, that upset me. Web design and the world of the internet is my work. If I weren’t self-employed, and were working at some 9 to 5 job, I wouldn’t be able tell my boss, “Excuse me, but I can’t come into work today. I have to help clean my house, and put away the Christmas decorations. Sorry.” It doesn’t work that way. So why should I have to do the same just because I work from home?
I also knew that my dad was really busy at work, and stressed out from that. And recently graduating from college, I’m grateful that I can live with my parents until I can financially support myself. I don’t have to pay rent. They buy food, etc. I thought about it, and put it into perspective. I do need to make my work a priority, but I can still help around the house.
So, instead of being frustrated and taking a nap, achieving nothing, I cleaned the kitchen, the family room, and the living room. I biked to my sister’s house, and let out her dogs. When I got home, I took off all of the ornaments and lights from the Christmas Tree. I knew it would make my dad happy when he got home if everything was already done, instead of waiting to do it with him when he got home.
Cleaning and biking brought some movement into my day, and when I finished cleaning, I bought myself an iced vanilla latte.
I realized that if the website wasn’t up today, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. My mom told me that I didn’t have to finish it by today (today was the deadline that I set for myself).
So, I put away my stress, relaxed, and when I got home from my coffee, I started working.
There’s this thing that my oldest sister tells me. Whenever I’m having trouble making a decision or I’m worrying about something, she tells me, “What’s the worst that can happen if you do X, or if you don’t do X? Can you handle that outcome? If so, it’s not that bad, and I can let go of my worry.
My self-love actions for today: Letting go of stress, worry, and frustration. Turning my frustration into productivity, and clarity, and allowing myself to see another perspective other than mine, and to see it with love, instead of stress and deadlines. Sharpening my life goals and motivations.
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Gay Media Network, and is Curve’s Social Media Manager. She’s launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication, The Human Experience. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.