Today I woke up feeling crappy when I found out my sister wanted me to make a 2 hour drive with her to San Jose to pick something up, and an X hour drive to Oakland and other places tomorrow to pick up more baby items, not the best way to start out my day of self-love.
I knew I needed to work to make my deadline. I work from home doing web design, internet marketing, and social media to promote people’s businesses, etc, so I get to create my own schedule, and that makes it easy for me to move my hours around, but that can also lead to lack of productivity and frustration.
I feel guilty when someone asks me to help them, and I say no. I would love to help my sister pick up baby stuff, or help my parents, siblings, etc do X, Y, and Z, but I need to realize that I can’t always say yes, and that I need to put myself first, and I need to put my business first.
If I’m always doing everything else for everyone else, I’ll never have time for me. When I do that I began to get frustrated. If I feel like I haven’t got any work done, I can’t enjoy my free time, and that makes me not want to help others because I feel like I have no time to do so.
I’m lucky to have Michelle as my mom. I told my mom that my sister wanted me to help her, and that I didn’t want to, but I felt like I should. She shared her soul collage card with me, and told me that sometimes I need to say no in order to take care of myself.
When I thought about what I wanted, I realized that today I needed to work and continue my forward momentum with a project I’m working on, then tomorrow I could not only help my sister drive to Oakland and help her pick stuff up, but I would love to. I would enjoy her company and the sister time, and I could enjoy that time because I would feel like I accomplished what I needed to work on.
I realized that when I put myself first, I’m putting myself in a better place to help others. When I put myself first, it makes me a happier person. I get more accomplished, and it frees up my time and energy to enjoy myself and others.
My self-love action today was to realize what I needed, to allow myself to say no without feeling guilty, and to take care of myself.
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Media Network. She’s working on launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.