October’s self-love writing prompt is: Can you accept your brilliance?
My answer: Yes, and No.
Yes because I know my talents, abilities, skills and strengths and I know that I rock them. I know my character and myself as a human being and I love who I am. I know that I can accomplish anything I decide to accomplish, however grandiose it may appear. I had larger than life passions and goals in the past that I fulfilled and experienced, and I continue to have larger than life passions and goals that I am experiencing right now, and that I’ll continue to experience. I’m creative, intelligent, passionate, loving, supportive and most definitely brilliant.
Yes, yes I can accept my brilliance.
Why did I also answer no? I experience mental snags where I inhibit my own brilliance. Sometimes it appears in the form of self-doubt. I won’t do a good enough job at X. Sometimes it manifests in lack of focus, which then leads to frustration, which then leads to negative thoughts, like Why am I not meeting my potential? Why haven’t I already reached X goal? I’m lazy, unmotivated and lack discipline. Why am I holding myself back? Because I can’t focus. I’ll never be able to feel like an “adult” if I can’t learn to harness my own focus. Or I’ll let societal expectations bring me down. Why am I not yet financially independent? I’m going to drown in student loans. If I can’t even support myself, how will I do anything in life?
When I say these thoughts out loud, and consciously become aware of them, they begin to sound silly. I know that soon I will be financially independent. I will be able to start paying my student loans soon. I am meeting my potential. I like how I’m evolving as a human being. Yet, some of that doubt is grounded in reality. I do have a difficulty with focusing, but that doesn’t mean that I have to let it take over my life. I have been able to apply my focus on small and huge projects in the past. I have been able to apply my focus and follow through on a number of things. I know that I can focus.
My own negative thoughts sometimes stop me from accepting my brilliance, but at my core, I know what I’m capable of. Whenever I forget my brilliance, or get off track with negative self-talk, I just need to stop, really think about what thoughts I’m cultivating and remind myself of my brilliance.
Can I accept my brilliance? Yes.
- Emelina Minero
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Gay Media Network, and is Curve’s Social Media Manager. She’s launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication, The Human Experience. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.