I said that I would join the August self-love writing challenge and write at least one self-love post a week. I haven’t. This is my first self-love post for the month of August. And for the past week and a half, I’ve fallen in a half-funk.
I was extraordinarily focused and productive for about 4 to 6 weeks straight with my work and life goals, and then this past week or so my focus and productivity has lessened. I had a mini family reunion last weekend, and I had family in from Texas this weekend and last weekend. So I spent the past two weekends in San Francisco and basically took most of Saturday through Monday off from any kind of work.
It was hard for me to get back on the work horse this past week, and I think it was because I was letting myself worry. I was breaking out of my work-every-day habit and I got out of my working groove. When I wasn’t working, I let my thoughts focus on what I “needed” to work on. When I was supposed to be working, I let myself worry about how I was behind, about my difficulty in focusing, etc. I was focusing on the negative, not the tasks or experiences at hand.
This past weekend, I occasionally set aside a handful of minutes here and there to get some needed work done, but aside from that, I allowed myself to be in the moment with what I was doing. I was decisive on where I was going to put my thoughts, energy and actions, and it made a big difference in my energy and productivity.
On Present Moment Living and Inaction – when I worry about something, and think about it, and think about it, but do nothing about it, it drains my energy. It’s useless to worry like that. When I take action and become decisive, it helps me to live in the present.
For example, I manage an FB page and I knew that I needed to post content to it throughout the day, but I also wanted to spend time with my family from Texas in the city because they’re leaving tomorrow and I only see them about once a year, if even. I also had an article that I needed to put aside some time for. I slept in SF this past weekend, and my cousin woke me up this morning and asked me if I wanted to go to the beach. My first response, half asleep was, “I need to do work for Curve today.” After I really woke up, I knew that I wanted to spend time with them, and I spent a minute worrying about work. Instead of not going out with them to explore the city, or instead of continuing to worry about work, or not being able to enjoy time with them, I told them that I wanted to go with them, but that I needed to schedule some posts on the FB page before we could go out. I did that, then we went out. It was simple, easy and once I made the decision on what I wanted to do, voiced it and followed through with it, it wasn’t a big deal.
This past week, I realized that I need to be more decisive in my actions. If I want to pick up my energy again, if I want to stop myself from feeling drained, I just need to take action and take those first steps to make happen what I want to make happen. And when I make a decision, I just need to go with it, put my full attention to it and not second guess myself.
My intention for the rest of tonight and tomorrow: energy. I want to feel rejuvenated. I want my focus and productivity back. I want my motivation back. I want to feel energized and groovin’. That’s what I’m going to make happen.
I put off writing this post because I felt drained, but putting it off after committing to writing a weekly self-love post during August only made me feel more drained. I’m going to stop putting things off, and I’m going to start taking more action.
Emelina Minero writes for Curve Magazine and EDGE Gay Media Network. She’s launching her own progressive LGBTQ publication, The Human Experience. She’s a Connection Connoisseur, Networking Maven and Self-Love Enthusiast. She founded Community Bucket List and co-founded the Love Warrior Community. Find her on Twitter, @CommKr8veWriter.